Several years ago, Grumpy Old Teacher (GOT) was working at a middle school. Back then, every year schools chose a theme for the year that everyone used to guide classroom and bulletin board decoration as well as student motivation. GOT’s school had long been a C-graded school. Every principal desired to break out of the mold and move up, but it was an elusive goal. One year, a newly-appointed principal came up with the ‘B Attitude’ to focus everyone’s attention on making the extra effort and taking the next steps to attain a B grade for the year. That led GOT to pen these as a humorous take on the year’s theme using the Beatitudes from the Gospel of Matthew.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

                For a funny classmate will disrupt the class.

Blessed are those who mourn,

                For someone cute will enroll at the school.

Blessed are the meek,

                For they will not get a referral for fighting.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst,

                For they shall receive Breakfast-in-the-Classroom*.

Blessed are the merciful,

                For they will share paper and pens with their unprepared classmates.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

                For they will never post snarky words about their peers on Facebook**.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

                For the administrators will never reveal that they snitched about a planned food fight.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness,

                For all As on a report card is the greatest feeling in the world.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you,

                Rejoice and be glad, because Anonymous has your back in the Twitterverse***.

These are the original words from 2014. Some updating is in order and offered below.

*Breakfast-in-the-Classroom was an initiative for Title 1 schools in which, rather than having students go to the cafeteria before school, the cafeteria delivered a meal that children ate in their classrooms at the beginning of the day. All students received breakfast regardless of their social-economic status.

**Teenagers move on quickly from a once-hot social media platform. Currently (2022), they prefer Instagram and Tik-Tok. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will never post embarrassing photos on Instagram or videos on Tik-Tok.

***… because your school is investigating your bullying complaint. Or, … for Equality Florida, joined by Attorneys General of 16 states, have sued to overturn Florida’s Don’t Say Gay law, a/k/a Parental Rights in Education law.

Happy New School Year!

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